What if I just wrote honestly and not to please my audience? What would I write?  What if I could live my life how I always dreamed of, what would that look like?

What if I actually learned to like people? AND all their issues and problems? AND  stopped dealing with them as problems themselves?  Stopped seeing them as a burden or a curious idea? Would I be able to help them more?

What if I expected less than I got and therefore was happy all the time?

What if I started reading the Bible less for its problem solving help, and more for the miraculous story it tells? Less for what it can do for me to benefit my life, and more for what it can teach me about God…?

What if I truly saw my life as a story, or a movie, and embraced every moment as a scene, where each line was dialogue, and crucial to moving the story forward? What if I really saw myself as important? What if by being important I could help others and make them feel important?

I don’t know what would change but I think it would be something.  And it would be profound.

Have you ever tried to change someone else’s mind?  Talked and pleaded with them to see a different point of view but in the end failed to get through?  There is an old adage that says we have to look at how hard it is to change our own mind before we try to change someone else.  I think that’s true and a good place to start.

We see the world in expectations of what is to come.  We expect to have certain real-world outcomes with everything we come in contact, also called experiences.  These “expected experiences” or expectations, are how we plan the world to work out for us, what we expect to get from the world.

If those expectations are violated then we are disappointed, if they are met then we are content. But if somehow these expectations of our future experiences are exceeded, then we have the phenomenon known as happiness.

My wife is great at this.  If it is supposed to be a certain way then it better be that way, or else crushing disappointment follows.  For example, if I say I will do the dishes, and then don’t, I have given her a reality that is below what she expected and she is disappointed.  If I do the dishes, she got what she expected and is content because reality met her expectations.  If I decide to be “Husband of the Year” and do the dishes, vacuum the carpet, give the dogs a bath, AND clean the bathroom on my day off, then she gets more than she expected and since reality exceeded her expectations she experiences happiness.   It’s all very simple, but often goes unnoticed.

Definitely something to think about for your own life.  If you want to change someone’s life for the better then ask yourself:

• In what ways am I disappointing the one’s I care about?  The one’s I love? What are their expectations of me?  Are those realistic expectations?  Am I even close to meeting the realistic ones?
• How often am I just getting by?  If I were to grade my daily behaviors on a 1, 3, or 5 scale then how many would be in the middle?  How can I change my efforts from 3 (mediocre, content) to 5 (exceptional, happiness)?
• In my day to day interactions, business and personal, how can I exceed someone else’s expectations?

You have the power to change a life for the better, you just need to find out what their expectations are and learn to go beyond whatever that person expected from reality.  It will change their lives and yours.

I’m not going to actively promote this post but I want the information to be out “there” at least, and I want to be the one to tell my story.

First of all, I haven’t been very good about a regular posting schedule and I’m not sure I ever will get to the point where I can post 4 or even 5 days a week.  Can’t imagine I have that much to talk about everyday.  Plus, who really wants to be just that much more noise on the internet?  There is SO much out there, repeating myself over and over would only be a disservice to those hardy few who actually want to hear what I have to say.

While I haven’t been posting, I have been busy consolidating and typing a lot of notes.  Last year I read over 200 books, taking notes on almost all of them, and I still get in at least one a week.  It’s a lot of work but I love the challenge of consolidating and connecting ideas.

How can anyone find time for over 200 books?  Well I ended up with a lot of time on my hands and here we come to the storytelling/confession part of this post.

From March 2008 to March 2009 I was in prison down in Sheridan, Oregon.  This was not a proud moment, but it ended up being one of the most positive experiences of my entire life.  I learned more from that one year than most of my life combined (more than just how to make wine from tomatoes, yes it is possible).  It gave me time to reflect, to read, to learn, to decide my character, course, and purpose.  I wish it didn’t have to happen but I’m glad everyday for the positive experience.

For those who are still interested, the short version of how I got there is this: I was working at a bank and generally loathing my life for no good reason.  I had no purpose, no greater story to hold on to, and I floundered every day.  I was miserable.  Then one day I ran across some accounts that belonged to two gentlemen who passed away a few years ago.  No one had claimed the money yet and it was about to be turned over to the government.  I did some searches online and found no family for either gentlemen.  Then, that part of us that we don’t like to express, that we never talk about, took hold of my thoughts.  I decided to take the money, rationalizing that no one would miss it, and I told myself this was a “gray” area.  Never was I so wrong.

Eventually I was caught and taken into custody, embarrassed and relieved all at the same time.  It was never my life ambition to be a thief and criminal, and my conscience was killing me.

After some time I was sentenced to 18 months, 12 of which was served in a prison, 4 in a halfway house, and 2 off for good behavior.  This was actually a lower sentence than I deserved and I was one of the few people in the system to get a lowered sentence..  The sentencing judge, Ronald B. Leighton, saw the person in front of him rather than the crime I committed.  He actually said if it was up to his wishes, he wouldn’t send me to prison at all but there needed to be a deterrent for potential future criminals.

Now I am on supervised release and continuing on with my life.  My wife, Megan, is the most supportive and wonderful woman, a Noble Wife to be sure.  She has stood by me through all of this and has never wavered in her support.  Our son has been the same, understanding and thoughtful, he has taken my experience to heart and I think he will be a better person for it in the end.

Some people would see this whole section of my life and say it speaks to who a person really is, that I’m not a good person.  They wouldn’t say it out loud (ok, some might) but a lot of people would think it at least, or feel it to be true.  I think of it as a terrible and destructive series of choices that was made right in the end.  God turned it around in the end and I am a better person for accepting what I have done and making the choice to live right.

This isn’t a story I am proud of, and one I have been dreading to tell.  But the ending is positive and happy.  And now I am creating a new story that perhaps wouldn’t be as rich without the old stories.  What do you think?